Mood:  chatty

Okay, so I mentioned earlier that LovelyD is not Kson's real dad. I'm sure you are wonding about how that happened and the story on that.

Well, a few years ago, LovelyD and I worked opposite shifts. He worked during the day, I worked at Night, that way we wouldn't need a babysitter. It got to the point where I thought we were only together for Sson. I didn't want to do it anymore. I decided that after our lease was up on the house we were renting, I would move back home and LovelyD and I would no longer be.

That was the 1st time LovelyD and I were engaged. He thought that was why I was leaving, because we had been together for so long, and I wanted to get married and I didn't think it was going anywhere. When LovelyD asked me to marry him, I said yes. I thougth that was what I wanted. I thought it would make things better. It didn't. Things got worse between LovelyD and I. I would come home from work and Lovelyd would be waiting for me, so he could tell me how much he loved me and wanted me to stay. I think that pushed me farther away because then, I never wanted to be home when he was home. I stayed out late, partied, whatever. Then, LovelyD did something I deserved- kicked me out. He didn't kick me and Sson out, just me. I don't blame him. I would have done the same thing. I was staying out all hours of the night, we were fighting even more.....it wasn't good for us, it wasn't good for Sson. So, I was kicked out, enter Kson's biological father. Dumbass is what we will name him....

Anyway, Dumbass and I started talking, I ended up moving in with a friend of mine. I would I would help watch saidfriends kids, clean house, cook, pick up saidfriends kids from school. I worked at Applecook as a grill cook, not making enought money and always overdrafting my account.

So back to Dumbass and I talking...

One night, while I was at work, a server came back to the kitchen and told me that Dumbass and gullible (Gullible was a new server at Applecook, not been there but for a week, and I had befriended her.) were eating together and then going to go bowling. I said I knew, we had planned on going bowling after I got off work, but since I had to close, they would go over to the bowling alley before me. Jserver said no, that he didn't think it was a friendly diner... I went out to the dining room to raise hell, and they were gone. An hour later, Jserver comes back to the grill line to tell me that Dumbass and Gullible were back out there, sharing a plate and he had his hands all over her. I went out to Dumbass and told him if he wanted her, that was fine, to take her and go home with her. I was done. Dumbass then tries to talk to me, I ignore him. I did try to make him look like an ass in front of all his friends. By saying MANY things that I wanted to say....(ie, I hoped he liked looking at her fat rolls while she sat on top of him.....I weighed 120 at the time....she was much bigger than I was..... And so ended that relationship-or so I thought.

When I would work with Gullible, I would say things to her that I almost got fired for....Stuff like If it felt like everyone was talking about her, it's b/c they were...I would call her a slut, make her ticket times long if I knew it was her tables. One night I stayed the night at a friends house, which was where Dumbass stayed too. When Dumbass came home, he tried to rub on me- whatever- I pushed him away. The next day at work I saw gullible and Dumbass kissing outside. When Gullible came back into the kitchen, I asked her if she knew that I had spent the night at Dumbasses....she said no....I said I saw you guys kissing, and I hope that shit tasted good..... I honestly didn't do anything w/ dumbass- why the hell would I want to, I was just saying it to make her think- to piss her off. I said a lot of shit to her and I was pissed. I had just met this girl, I had tried to befriend her. Not too many people were fond of her, and I was trying to be nice and get her in our circle.

The group that I worked with at Applecook was like no other. We all got along, we hung out after work. We had a good time. I think there was 1 time where we all went to a party and just everyone hung out. Then, from there, we had a little click that we stuck too.

So, I had worked until like 12, 1:00 in the mornings at applecook, I would wake up at 6, and go get Sson from LovelyD. I guess my body had enough. I didn't hear my alarm go off, I didn't wake up until 9:00. LovelyD had to call out of work, needless to say, he wasn't too happy....That was also the day of my 22 birthday. I told LovelyD I would be there to get my son- he didn't want me to. I called my parents crying. They told me to call the police and come home. I had planned on going home and going to school. LovelyD was going to keep Sson so I could work and go to school and not have my family worry about watching my son. There was an issue with my sisters watching him when I was working and living with my parents the first time and I didn't want it to happen again. I told my parents that I was going to leave sson w/ LovelyD so I could go to school. My parents said to bring him with me. Do not leave the state without him. I called the cops around late afternoon, Msis had to drive down that night to help me get my stuff, I finally got Sson back around 9:00, same time my sister arrived, we packed up my stuff and left.

I regret that whole day. I wish I would have done things differently. I was clearly in the wrong. The way I was then, I am surprised LovelyD didn't take me to court for full custody. He would, in no doubt, have won. I have learned from my mistakes, and I am moving on. I am building a better future for my family and I now.

So, about 2 weeks after being back at my parents house in KY, I learn that I am pregnant. Dumbass told me I HAD to get rid of "it" b/c he didn't want anymore kids.   (Dumbass now has 6 kids by 5 different woment) I couldn't have an abortion, no way. I was upset and confused with what to do. I didn't want my child to not have a father. I wanted him to be loved by both parents. I knew I had to have him, but it was unsure if I was going to be able to keep him. For the longest time I worried that I wouldn't be able to provide the love and support this baby would need. I wondered if I would be the best choice for this child.

2 weeks after I find out that I am pregnant, I receive a call from Dbartender at Applecook. Who tells me that Dumbass and Gullible have just announced her pregnancy